'It's a girl' for gay married couple

A black gay couple have welcomed a bouncing baby girl carried by a surrogate mother .

Parents-to-be Sabelo Sithole-Gabuza, 27, and Sibusiso Gabuza, 28, hosted a baby shower in Jeppestown, Johannesburg, on Saturday in anticipation of the arrival of the little one who was due on December 5.

The surrogate mother, Xolisile Shelembe, 24, looked radiant in a white outfit, while Sithole-Gabuza welcomed everyone wearing a nappy, a fake belly and a pink sash written: "Mom To Be".

He said they are excited and ready to become parents. The two have been married for four years. They have named the baby girl Ndalo, saying she was God' s plan.

"We both cannot wait to hold her in our hands. This is the best gift that any human being can ever ask for."

Gabuza said when they could not find a surrogate mother, the whole situation put a strain on their marriage, and they began to blame each other.

"And when one of our friends, Xoli [Shelembe], offered to carry the egg, we were excited. Moreover, she met all surrogate requirements, which is two kids, have a job, and be mentally and physically healthy."

Shelembe, who is unmarried, said she embraced the idea because she wanted to give her gay friends the best present ever.

"I know the value of a child in anybody's life. I also know how kids can bring joy and change the way to see things. It was [for] these reasons that I decided to be a surrogate mother."

The mother of two said mentally she is ready to give the child away after birth.

The couple took sperm samples to a Johannesburg clinic which oversaw the process of fertilising a donated egg. A month later, the pregnancy test came back positive.

Gabuza said there was no doubt in his mind that his partner would make a great mother. "It is a good feeling. The child is a baby girl and I have already began to count down the hours and minutes."

The idea of having their own baby began last year and the two met professionals for advice.

Sithole-Gabuza said they had an option to adopt but surrogacy was the best for them. "We began to write down the qualities that we wanted our child to have. [Some] of them [were] long, straight or curly hair, and be light in complexion."

Families have accepted marriage

The couple have endured a lot of stigmatisation and rejection.

Sabelo Sithole-Gabuza and Sibusiso Gabuza met in 2010 at Maboneng in Johannesburg. They dated for more than a year before making it official in 2012.

Sithole-Gabuza, who comes from Ehlanzeni in Ladysmith, KwaZulu-Natal, said he experienced family rejection. When he was 15 years old, his mother chased him out of her house after he revealed that he was gay. He said he was never attracted to girls and has never dated one. His mother told him he was a curse (isiqalekiso) to the family.

He was a close friend of Gerald Fraser, a foster son of award-winning gospel musician Deborah Fraser.

"I was shocked when I got a call from Mam Debs. She seemed to understand what I was [going] through. She took me in where she fed, clothed and sent me to school until I was at college."

Sithole-Gabuza, a fashion designer, interior designer, builder and carpenter, said over the years his mother began to accept him and they were now best friends.

While Gabuza, an administration graduate from the University of Zululand, grew up dating girls, he never thought he would ever have feelings for men.

But when he came to Johannesburg for greener pastures, gay men began hitting on him. Gabuza said when he saw Sithole-Gabuza dancing at Maboneng, he liked him.

"We became friends and we dated. I realised that I loved him, I proposed."

As a son of a pastor, and having grown up in a polygamous marriage, it was a challenge for Gabuza to tell his family. He said he lost many friends and family members when he revealed his sexual preference.

"Everyone was shocked. I was the talk of the village. Some family members were saying I was insulting the ancestors and my late father.

"I actually saw [this] as a blessing because I looked at what I had been through in my life before meeting Sabelo."

He said Sithole-Gabuza knows his duties as umakoti when he visits.

"He wears a hat or doek. My family has since warmed up to the idea and they love him."

Baby Ndalo

The couple's baby girl Ndalo was born at Charlotte Maxeke Johannesburg Academic Hospital at noon on Friday, weighing just over 3kg.

Sithole-Gabuza, 27, and his husband were present when the baby was born.

Both the surrogate mother, Xolisile Shelembe, and Ndalo were kept at the hospital for six hours and discharged on the same day.